Happy New Year! You have breast Cancer!

I had just played tennis 5 days in a row, and was feeling great! 
I went for my yearly mammography on January 14th. 

Overwhelmed is an inadequate word for the experience.  I've lost all control of my life and fear took over. I immediately thought of my dear friend Barbara Simon, who recently lost her fight with breast cancer.  "Will I die?" I was just involved with a memorial tennis tournament in her name and I was recently the tennis chair for a "Rally for the Cure" event. Nope...I guess that wasn't my get out of cancer free card!

How do I begin to work through this complicated maze of emotions and unexpected decisions! So, I first come to realize that the fear comes from the unknown. 

Are the radiologist sure they were reading MY mammography  results?
Will I be at my children's weddings?
Will I live to see my grandchildren?
How can I shelter my family from this pain?

At 3:00am the list goes on and on 

Waiting for the pathology report was the most fearful 24 hours.  Ralph was able to expedite the pathology and at 3:30 on January 15th, he called my cell phone and with a high pitched voice, and  asked,  "when are you coming home." I was gone all day, trying to focus on a remodeling project, but I knew from his voice that the news was bad.    

"Fighting fear is like trying to sack fog;
you just can't get a handle on it.  Giving your power away to the fear is worse than suffering the consequence that you're afraid of.  Choose to give yourself the chance.  It's normal to be anxious and afraid, but you can't be dominated by the fear."